After 40 years studying forgiveness, Robert Enright explores how we define it and why people are skeptical about it.
Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. Just as important as defining what forgiveness is, though, is understanding what forgiveness is not. Experts who study or teach forgiveness make clear that when ...
For example, we might be willing to forgive a spouse if he’s constantly late for dinner and making us wait, but find it harder to forgive his infidelity. How easy it is to forgive may also depend on whether the transgression was a one-time occurrence or is ongoing, or on whether they sincerely apologize or agree to make amends.
How to Forgive Your Partner, Even When It’s Hard - Greater Good
Fred Luskin discusses why and how to forgive at the Greater Good Science Center event, "Forgiveness and Gratitude." His talk draws on the insights he’s gained through leading the Stanford University Forgiveness Projects, the largest interpersonal forgiveness training research projects ever conducted.
The three systems of the brain involved in forgiveness can improve our well-being in other areas of life.
But if you want to forgive and are finding it hard, it might help to call upon other resources. First remember that if you are struggling with forgiveness, that doesn’t mean you’re a failure at forgiveness. Forgiveness is a process that takes time, patience, and determination.
In the Bible, forgiveness takes on special meaning. It does not mean pretending an offense never happened. How to forgive someone goes deeper than that.